![]() ![]() ![]() This is a trick that helps with any sort of communication. Make eye contact and repeat what you hear Don’t impose feelings, project ideas or put words in their mouth. Let them finish what they’re saying, and let them be vulnerable. That person who’s opening up to you? They just want you to be there for them. Give them space to open up-and let them finishĭon’t interrupt – even if you have an eerily similar story or situation to share or you know someone who knows someone who knows of a person that went through the same. Think about this the next time someone asks for your time. Empathy can be the difference between feeling heard and feeling hurt. Are they going through something major? Is it a situation you’ve been in before? Or perhaps you can’t relate, but you know this person needs you to see things from their perspective. Practice attention and put away your phone and other distractions just for that moment of conversation. Your attention and your time are some of the biggest gifts we can offer one another. It’s also easy to zone out and put on the pretense of a listening ear-but it takes a lot more to be present and give someone your undivided attention. We pick and choose we filter out things that don’t align with our opinions, beliefs and mood. Many a time, we listen to bits of conversation that we only want to hear. Work on your communication skills by: Truly hearing someone out #Listen to understand professionalCommunication can make a world of difference when it comes to improving your personal and professional relationships. It’s not always about getting ahead of each other. We’re prepared to do anything that is asked of us or to hurl back accusations to protect ourselves – even if it means offending the other party. It’s no surprise, then, that on hearing these words, or anything similar, our defenses go up. Be it bosses, parents, teachers, friends or partners, it’s almost always nerve-wracking to hear. It’s something that many of us have heard at different points in time and from different people. I managed to improve but now my wife tells me to “ stay focused.” Like me, we all have room for improvement.“We need to talk” is a phrase that can bring anyone to their knees. When I grew up, it was obvious to my mother that I lacked listening proficiency and she was determined, as the first born, to mold me into a good young man. Good listening is a highly refined skill. They simply were not listening to understand. Who hasn’t had a boss acting bored when you are explaining a problem to him? My favorite was when a 3-star General fell asleep when I was telling him how we were avoiding illegal purchases of construction materials. Thus, we find those busy leaders often doing what is easy and expedient (we all do this) and also taking shortcuts. They listen so to improve upon their leadership skills so, when the time comes, people will follow. Like many who read this leadership blog, I have found that the best leaders are truly interested in hearing what others have to say. Most leaders want to know more about others. To truly listen means to “see” all those things around that provide an understanding. We listen for what’s behind the words.” – Roy T. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. It is more than words that have something to tell us body language, voice inflection, what we wear and items we possess, and things we value … all communicate something about the person. Leaders, to be good at what they do, must listen to understand where other people are coming from with what they say and do. She would say, “ You hear me but you don’t HEAR me.” She was telling me that to be a good son, I had to listen to understand not just listen to her words.Īnd so it is with leaders. “ Get that wax outta your ears!” My mother was fond of giving me advice that my other siblings seemed to never get. ![]()
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